He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
