she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
