He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
