quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
