whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize