It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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