you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
