Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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