Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
