Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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