i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
