I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
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You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize