I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
