I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
