With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
MIDGETS
????
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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