i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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