nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
