He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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