Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My breasts were aching with rage.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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