i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
