the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
