Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
