STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
