I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
