When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
