I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
