So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
