I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
