my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
