I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
