GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
