am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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