I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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