lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
