someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize