I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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