i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
