wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
