we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
