you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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