Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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