He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i drank out of a bidet.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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