My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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