i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
