so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize