I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
