ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
