I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
