just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
