I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
