I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
