my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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