i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
