Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
