Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
