:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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