You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
