well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
