I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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