I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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