Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
