you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
