At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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