I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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