dude i'm inner monologue high
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
